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Pain is.............


Pain is losing hope
   for a normal future,
     a family, a lover, a life.
Pain is being
   brought to your knees
      by insidious pain
        which racks the body
           again and again.
Pain is not
   being able to walk
     or not even to crawl
       at times...
Pain is to be
   talented, vital
     resourceful, loving
        yet not being able
          to get out of bed.
Pain is creating
  romantic scenerio
    of unheard of possiblities
       yet wondering all the time
         if anyone could ever
            really want you.
Pain is the struggle
   in everyday to find the joy
       in existence, while in
         a world of pain.
Pain is trying
  to mend a broken body
     hoping against all hope
        for a new day.
Pain is knowing
  what you have created
    in your life, so you,
     might have compassion
         for others, like you.
Pain, in the knowledge
  your compassion can't dry
    their tears, take away
       their pain, for they,
          have chosen, like you.
Pain is in gratitude
   for days when...
     you are not in pain.
Pain is not wanting
   to be a burden, to see
     looks of pity, from those
        not in pain.
Pain is not giving in

    not to let yourself sink
      into that dark abyss
        that Hell which is pain.
Pain is living
   in a society which
      values you not, which
         shuttles you from one
           doctor to another.
Pain is being bombarded
   with annihilating drugs
     destroying your
       defenseless body
          as you stand helpless.
Pain is a government
   pushing you aside for the next
       in line, when you stride forth
         in bravery, to honor
              your own path in healing.
Pain is weeping
    uncontrollably for yourself
        and others like you, with
          little hope for a future
            without pain.
Pain is anger,
    asking unanswered questions
        from silent institutions,
           from God. Anger, when
             spent, leaves weakness
               despair and grief.
Pain is withholding
   not sharing your pain
        with others, they, not
            wanting to know,
              or believe, turning
               away in secret fear
                of their own pain.
Pain is a tree, falling
    in an empty forest
       with no one to hear
         your scream of pain.

..........Pain is Pain.........  



Kay Ekwall©1999


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